Sunday, February 17, 2013

Beautiful Mind 10: Nervousness

I think I had implied the inner nervousness we all feel in some of the notes I wrote earlier. Time to talk about it explicitly.

Why do we feel nervous? It is a very strange feeling, because I can't seem to find any justification for it. We feel nervous for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps the main reason for us to feel nervous is because we are afraid. Afraid of losing something - whatever this "thing" is.

It is also because we feel insecure of what we might become after taking the decision. We worry whether the decision we're making is right or wrong, failing to understand that there is no right and wrong in life. Everything that happens to us is not dual, i.e. right or wrong, good or bad, and the like. It is just one thing that happened. The outcome of the decision may or may not be fruitful for us, which leads us to term the decision as right or wrong.

Sometimes, it is because of fear of humiliation, which is again fear of not being able to live up to expectations of the "society". Unfortunately, we don't realize that the society is also comprised of people like us.

It is also because we are uncertain about our own behavior. All the uncertainty makes me wonder why we are the way we are. We can blame others up to a certain point in life, not beyond. A part of growing up is also being responsible for our actions.

We are uncertain because we are insecure, which is because we are afraid.

Fear can do a lot of damage to us, and the way we lead our life. The first and the most significant impact it will have on us is by making us more pessimistic and negative. We begin to lose the ability to think positive for anything in life. It is never a good sign, for it will harm our future. Take kids for example - kids are never born nervous. They are at their creative best when they are kids. It is because of their surroundings that consists of adults and the daily issues of adults, and the induction of fear into the minds of those kids by the adults, that leads them to become shy or nervous or whatever. The reason for this is that the brain is at an evolutionary learning step constantly, and it updates its processing rules according to what situations its carrier experiences.

Everyone around us is like us. If so, why are we afraid? Perhaps this is the reason why we are afraid, because that is the kind of people we have become. If we have nothing to fear, if we have nothing to hide, there is no need to be fearful. Thus, there will be no need to worry, and no need to be nervous. It is also good to reduce fear as fear often leads to anger.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama says, "Fear and anger go together; more fear leads to more distrust; more fear leads to more frustration, and more fear distrust and frustration together lead to more anger". Anger, fear, nervousness are all a part of our undesirable traits.

Overcoming nervousness may not be a single push-button action. But, it begins with understanding the reason why we feel nervous in the first place. If we don't worry too much about the consequences of our actions, perhaps we could reduce our nervousness, and thus, our worries and frustrations, thereby increasing our confidence and "positiveness".

The ability to look within and find out reasons for all these actions is within us. We just need to be able to tap into this ability and make the world a better place to live in...

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