Friday, March 15, 2013

Advises

I'm one of those guys who feels compelled to give my perspective. My opinion. I'm very opinionated. But, it is strange, because I am also a proponent of independent thinking in people. This is a strange discovery in my behavior - at times, I feel compelled to present my views in a room full of people with different views. And, often, I consider my views as the only truth. Now I know better - to respect the fact that everyone has their own way of thinking and decision making.

We try to influence people with our thoughts. I have observed this happen with others around me, and with myself too. We want people to behave the way we want them to. In other words, we want the conditions to favor us at all times. Is survival of the fittest at play here? Is that the only thing even if it is?

I find this strange because the more we advise, the more we deplete the other person's ability to think and decide for himself / herself. This is when we are living an oxymoron. It is a very strange feeling!

That's when I started to think about advising versus presenting our opinions. Just presenting our opinions is okay, but, influencing people to act the way we want is questionable. Why are opinions so important? Mainly because opinions offer perspectives. We would all have lived our lives in certain ways that would have resulted in our thought process being a certain way, and this is why we each have a unique perspective about any situation. It is good to offer our perspective, because if often gives the other person something more to think about. It is never good to influence someone's thoughts.

I have done that in the past. I am trying to understand this better and to be better at avoiding it as much as possible. Where do we draw the line between offering perspective and trying to influence a person? It is tricky, but not impossible.

Now, is this an advice or an opinion? :) I consider it to be my opinion, because I have thought about it - observed myself do it, observed others do it, and have acknowledged it. Now, I'm justifying that it is indeed an opinion. A few of my earlier blogs, which specifically said something that needed to be done or avoided, were more along the lines of advises.

It is also easy for us to get lost in pride, perhaps because of prior successes or the situation we are in. Or worse, we could get lost due to the fear. This means that we won't be able to make a judgment based on either our own opinion or others' opinions.

What you do and what you decide is ultimately up to you. But, I believe that perspectives and opinions offer us a chance to learn about a situation in multiple ways. This is what helps us to better decide how a situation might play out for us. Remember that it need not play out the same way as was described or the way we imagined - or it might work out the exact way we imagined - the important thing is that we get something more when someone offers us opinions.

Whatever we choose, there will be a chance to make changes and alterations to arrive at the desired path. The important lesson is to make a judgment call and make the decision, and not letting fear and pride cloud our judgment.


   
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